It's easy to cover up with lots of images and appear happy and careless, as if "life is so easy and yaaay".
I'm gonna be honest with you...
I'm often scared.
Actually I constantly fight against these thoughts in my head that keep reminding me of my fears.
Worrying that I'm not good enough, analyzing everything I do, freaking out if I see an awesome piece made by somebody else. You think that you'll never get to the same level, or like in my case - you think you're a fraud. It often feels like "oh crap, soon they'll realize how fake I am!".
I truly hate high expectations. I already do an exellent job myself there, whether I want it or not, haha.. You can probably recognize this too. The brain never shuts up.
No matter how big your fan base gets(I love you guys!!), those feelings will never go away.
To be honest, it almost gets worse sometimes. Don't get me wrong though! When things are rolling, then it's extremely uplifting and it really means the world to me, just the fact that THERE IS someone out there at all, who appreciates what I do.
A couple of years ago, all I wanted was to get noticed. Things would be so much easier then. Or so I thought. I was pretty invisible(and not that good), and kept looking at all these successful artists who has become sort of celebrities among the communities. I always though that "damn, their lives must be so awesome and free, they probably never doubt!"...
Haha, so wrong. Everyone doubts. It's human nature.
Even our heroes are scared shitless from time to time.
There is no Nirvana, and we will never arrive or cross that holy line where there's only peace and awesomeness.
I guess that cliché about making friends with fear of failure is true.
We don't suck.
"You wish were a better artist?, that feeling will never go away. Stay confident, because it's normal. Just keep going!"
- Marlo Meekins